2 months, 1 beach

61 days have passed. A lot has been experienced. Much has changed. Coming home has placed me in a seemingly new world. New challenges, new adventures, new responsibilities, new perspective. 

Being here again is often disorienting. There are moments when it feels like it never happened. Like I never went across the world on so great an errand. But I did. It was real. Back in the same place, but I am different.

It's funny how sometimes I wish I was on a different beach right as I am standing on a perfectly good one. Moments continue to come and go like the tides. And each moment I spend wishing is one I've wasted. Today, I stood here on this beach. My toes in the sand, eating fresh fruit, listening to waves crash, letting the sun warm my skin. And I couldn't believe that even a particle of me was not absolutely overjoyed to be there. I couldn't believe a piece of me was dreaming of being somewhere else when I had a view like this.




We always seems to be craving something. But there's an abundance of soul satisfying matter within our reach. Waiting for something that will make us happy is a dangerous game. Working for that which brings eternal happiness, while savoring happy moments along the way, I think that's truly living.

So today I took out my headphones, closed my eyes, and listened closely. I leaned into the breeze, put my toes in the water, and I let the ocean make me feel small. I thanked Heavenly Father for this beach, and I didn't think so much about another one anymore.

A lot has changed in 61 days. But no passage of time or change in location can diminish the beauty of life, and the peace that comes from following the Savior of the World. He will be here to light the dreary, gladden the heart, and fill in the gaps. That will always be true, no matter where we go or how life changes. So let's trust Him. Let's be grateful for what we have, and cheerfully work for what we need. Life is good, and the view isn't bad either.

the journey

Excerpts from my little blue notebook.

Written on Wednesday November the 16th at 12:30 Australian Eastern Daylight Time.

"A few more moments with the wheels on the ground. I'm leaving a piece of my heart with Sydney. But it's a small price to pay for what it's given me.
This beautiful part of the world has been the backdrop for the best 18 months. It's the home of the people I love. It's where I've developed cherished relationships. It's here that my testimony and witness of Christ was sealed with sacrifice.
We've begun down the runway. I can't believe it's time to say goodbye. There's not much of a view anymore, but I can't peel my eyes away from the window. I just want to be here a little longer.
The city just came into view as we turned down the runway - my last look.
It's sunny and cool, just like the day I arrived.
Same city.
Same plane.
Same sunny day.
But now it's all different. I am different. And this place means something more to me now.

We're off, we're in the air. It's beautiful. Sparkling blue water, fluffy clouds, and bright blue sky. The city rises up above the rest of the land. I can see the shining white Opera House and the outline of the Harbour bridge. As we continue, I can see hundreds of miles of coast. I am sure I can see some of my old areas. I keep watching until the long stretch of coast fades completely away.
Goodbye Sydney."

Written on Wednesday November the 16th at 6:50 AM Pacific Standard Time.

"13 hours later. The sun is rising. Pale sky with the sun beginning to spread peach behind cool blue mountains. We're descending. A bed of white clouds occasionally interrupted by mountain tops. The plane turns and golden sunlight pours in through the window. We're getting closer. Level with the clouds, everything is white. We're coming down out of the clouds. Los Angeles appears. My first time seeing this city. Wheels hit runway. It feel good to be back on American soil. Closer to the people who matter most. "Here Comes the Sun" starts playing. I am reminded that a piece of my heart has been waiting for me here the whole time."

Written on Wednesday November the 16th at 7:15 PM Eastern Standard Time.

"Arriving in LA was surreal. It was colorful and fast and funny. The vibrant culture of America and what we stand for rung through the air in the hustle and bustle. I met some Elders going to Vancouver to begin their missions. I told them to love it, that it is the best life. Then I ran into a cluster of Elders and Sisters going home from the Los Angeles mission. the sisters hugged me and made me feel not so alone. Seeing them made me feel hopeful.

When we stood in line for the plane, I received a prompting to talk to a woman who came and sat down. I felt like I really wanted to do it, but I was worried about missing boarding. I had a feeling to just trust God and do it. As I began walking out of the boarding line towards her, there was an announcement that because of an international flight that came in, boarding was delayed for a few minutes. This gave me the opportunity to meet Meg, a Buddhist from Portland. She was incredibly friendly and open. I shared a Christmas card with her.

When I arrived at my gate to go to PCB in Atlanta, it felt like home already. Southern accents and friendly chats buzzed through the air. People actually said hello to me first. And two people I met praised me for my missionary service.

Now I'm sitting on the plane with other Floridians. We're gaining speed down the runway.
And we're in the air. Night sky and a sea of Atlanta city lights. One hour from home."

Wednesday November the 16th at 6:57 PM Central Standard Time.

"I can see it. I'm home."

And then this happened.